James Moriarty (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
slideruler) wrote2025-11-22 06:15 pm
slideruler) wrote2025-11-22 06:15 pmInbox
username: lawyer4hire | ✉ ☏ 📷 |
slideruler) wrote2025-11-22 06:15 pm
username: lawyer4hire | ✉ ☏ 📷 |
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[ sampo turns around to see what the noise was. only to see that Moriarty's... already found a friend, already. a wide-eyed little baby cat thing that looks like it's seen the horrors with how vacant her stare is.
sampo blinks as the thing seems insistent on holding onto moriarty's leg. weird. ]
Hey, JJ. You uh. Did you step on something belonging to the little fella? --[ he can't tell if its a male or female oops ] It seems pretty.... intent on staring at you.
...
Oooh.
That's a Psychic type. Like I mentioned. Maybe your confusion with my prank's got her concerned about you...?
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[ Even when he defensively raises his voice, the little creature doesn't flinch.
Instead, it starts to slowly, deliberately, paw at his pant leg—like it's petting him, the way one might attempt to soothe an agitated pet. That intent yet vacant stare refuses to leave his. ]
Really, I'm—I'm all right, I swear. It was merely good harmless fun.
Wasn't it? Sampo.
[ HELP HIM OUT HERE ]
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sampo's never seen an Espurr in the wild--and honestly the name of the creature currently escapes him even if he's mentally trying to recall it (Esma? Ekurr? something like that...)
and a smile slowly settles over his features. ]
Just a little, that's all!! I get it, I get it!
Buuuuuut. It's this little one that seems way more worried about you.
Aww. It's trying to comfort you...
Look at it. Little fella'. You just wanna make your new buddy feel better, dont'cha? [ he's gonna crouch and offer his hand. ]
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Yes, but—how do I convince it to let go?
[ When Sampo approaches, the Espurr finally glances his way, wide-eyed and staring like most of its kind.
Although it doesn't let go of Moriarty's pant leg, it does outstretch its tiny paw in his direction, in a manner reminiscent of a princess awaiting a proper show of respect. ]
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It feels to me like she likes you. And that's why she's hanging onto you.
These little fellas can gain an affinity for people when they see them. Just at a glance. It's how me and Hoopa became buddies.[ excuse him as he goes into his bag and pulls out a pink ball. it looks similar to the ball Napkin had come out of, but it's got a heart on it instead of orange circles. ]
Here. Offer this to her. If she likes you, she'll go in willingly.
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[ Does it really happen so easily? But... why him? Of all people? ]
What is that?
[ Despite asking, he automatically accepts the strange pink ball. The Espurr looks up at the ball in his hand, then back at him. Somehow, even though her expression hasn't changed once since she initially appeared, Moriarty feels an expectant intensity behind those wide staring eyes. ]
Uh... all right, then.
[ If this is what she wants, then so be it. Clearly not understanding this process at all, he offers her the weird orb, leaning down so that she can touch it if she wishes.
There's no hesitation. While deliberately maintaining eye contact, she reaches out and then disappears inside the Poké Ball. He jolts, surprised. ]
Where did it go!?
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[ that's just how it shakes out, man!!! He looks pretty impressed with how all that went down. imagine, having a cat look at you and immediately decide that your clown energy was sufficient and you needed her companionship. it's touching, really!!! ]
Eh? Where else? Inside the ball. Remember when I first showed you Napkin?
You just throw the ball on the ground to pop it open, or just press the button there and she'll come out.
She's yours now, so, whenever you want to carry her around without actually hauling around a big kittycat, just pop her in there.
--And don't worry, the Pokeball is perfectly comfortable. It's like a mini spa and resort all in one in there.
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He thought the goal was to find a way to get the little creature off of him without upsetting or hurting it, not—whatever just happened. Him adopting her? Her adopting him? Frankly, he's entirely out of his element here. ]
So that entire animal... is now inside this ball. The one I'm currently holding in my hand.
[ His tone is incredulous, as if this is somehow more ridiculous than the fact that he's a magical recreation of a possibly fictional criminal mastermind who was summoned here from another universe. ]
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[ Oh
Moriarty's expression. ]
Right.
You didn't expect that. These little guys like to bond with humans. It's your buddy now. Ssssshould I have warned you?
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[ He's been here all of what, five minutes, and now he's personally responsible for some sort of little psychic animal?! DOES HE LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE FOR LIVING BREATHING CREATURES, SAMPO, DOES HE. ]
May I remind you that I am not human, so there's really no reason for such a creature to have latched onto me so—decisively.
[ He's staring at the Love Ball now like Sampo has handed him a bomb. ]
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I live with a guy who's basically a ghost and he LOVES the little guys. He likes them so much, the city's organization that specializes in these little guys is funded by him--and they give him special stuff to give out relating to the fellas all the time.
....
I mean, if you really don't want her, I could always take the ball off yer hands, but.
She seemed really attached to you. Psychic types like that know stuff, yanno?
[ hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb hands you a bomb ]
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[ Truly, there had been no hesitation in the Espurr's intense gaze. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she got it. In some sense, he can't help but admire that level of shameless confidence.
On the other hand, this absolutely wasn't the plan. ]
Somehow, I feel like handing her over now would make me the bad guy in this situation.
[ Which shouldn't be a problem for a future villain, except he's currently on his best behavior at the moment. ]
What should I... do with her, exactly?
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[ he looks absolutely mischevious. ]
Well, that's easy! Be her buddy. Feed her snacks, play with her. Enjoy her company.
She's an Espurr, which means she's like a cat. She doesn't need your 24/7 attention. Letting her exist in your office space'll probably be enough for her. And because she's the psychic type she could help you with all sorts of things, too. They're smart. Like. PHD smart.
Could help you with your math homework smart.
1/2
2/2
[ Okay, NOW he's listening. ]
I hadn't thought they would be quite that intelligent.
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He's gonna stare at Moriarty like he'd just hit him with a newspaper. ]
--Yeah?
Yeah. Some psychic types are known to have an IQ that's even higher than most humans. Those ones are hard to train though so I'd not suggest just going to get an Alakazam without any prior --
...
Why is that what gets your attention!?
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[ Singularities are weird, man. That extremely specific set of circumstances is likely the only situation that could have ever possibly led to James Moriarty of all people becoming a lawyer. ]
No, the most plausible profession for me would have been 'mathematics professor', had my life not taken a different path.
[ Instead, he opted for 'criminal mastermind', which... sure was a choice. ]
I quite like numbers. They speak to me in a way little else does.
In fact, when I was twenty-one, I wrote a treatise upon the Binomial Theorem which was so well-received, I won Mathematical Chair at a small yet respectable English university.
At twenty-one, mind you. They were inviting me to lead their mathematics department at an age when most of my peers had only freshly graduated from university.
1/3
...Oh, he hit the man right in the Autism, he understands now. ]
2/2
[ oh god he REALLY hit him in the autism what the fuck is a binomial whadda who the
there's a chair for math??? ]
3/3
this guy's a smartypants. Like he wonders how many PHDs he has, or will have, by the time he's--gasp--twenty-two. ]
I totally know all about Binomial Theorem. You can ask me about it sometime when we're closer friends.
But alright, damn, I get it, I thought you were just a Lawyer but no, you're a Math Teacher too, huh.
This a bad time to admit I dropped outta college?
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Moriarty brightens to an almost comical degree as soon as Sampo claims to know what he's talking about, losing his usual smug edge in favor of pure enthusiasm. Like this, he very much seems his physical age. Apparently talking about math puts the youthful sparkle back in his uncannily dark eyes. ]
Oh, is that so? I'll keep that in mind for the future.
[ Since Sampo has his full attention now, he absolutely doesn't miss Sampo's quiet aside. ]
Hm? Oh, don't worry, I'm not one of those people who put stock solely in academic achievements. The intellect of the individual matters more than whether or not one has a fancy degree attached to their name.
That said, what are your thoughts on Gaussian elimination?
[ QUICK, SWITCH THE TOPIC BACK TO HIS BRAND-NEW POKEMON. ]
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it's fine
it's. fine.
He's gonna clear his throat. ]
--Oh! Oh that's *great!* I'm glad I won't get judged for it. If it helps, I dropped out cause--
[ oh holy fuck he's still going.
Sampo gives him a long blank look as he says the word Gaussian to him.
Think fast, Mr. Cold Feet. ]
Well. You know how it is, with the. The. [ he makes a curve motion with his hand. ]
--Oh, hey, by the way, you should probably name the little guy, too. Some people just let their Pokemon go by their basic name, but in my opinion, it'd be like getting a Cat and calling it Cat....
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Yes, and...?
[ He encourages Sampo to continue, smiling brightly as he awaits Sampo's conclusion, only for the older man to pull a hasty switcheroo. Moriarty glances down at the Love Ball he's still holding, startled as he'd honestly forgotten about the whole matter of his new Pokemon with his lifelong hyperfixation so close at hand. ]
A name?
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He managed to divert the conversation. He needs to keep it rolling. He'll keep walking now, too, leading the other one along and towards the forest. He still has his own goal in mind, after all... ]
Yeah! A name! Something to call it by. You can't just go 'hey, cat, do you want dinner' or 'hey you, come help me with this Aquatic Equation' or whatever.
A name!
Like--[ he points at his Shuppet. ] Napkin.
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[ While he automatically corrects Sampo, the combined task of walking while processing Sampo's argument does distract him from prying further. He trails after the older man, still technically Sampo's bodyguard for this little venture. ]
I suppose you have a point. Having a designated name would be more efficient.
[ Not exactly the main reason most people name their pets, but it's something. Sampo is successfully pushing the conversation further and further away from mathematics. ]
Did you say it's a girl? Or is it a boy?
[ You're supposed to be the expert here, Sampo. ]
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